Jeep Runnin

These are some pix from a couple of weeks ago. My car was in the shop getting Hail Damage fixed and the Rental company was dumb enough to give me a four wheel drive vehicle...hey who am I to not make sure the four wheel drive systems work, I would feel really bad if someone got stuck and I had a chance to prevent it, they should thank me for making it safer. I will admit I'm really dissappointed that it didn't shake the Mud off like the Jeep in the Comercial did...

Sound about Right??

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen."Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!"

Frog Giggin

Frogs are chillin out with the beers



















BUD...













Crikey Look at all those frogs
















He's a beauty


















Spenc, Brian and Zach









A few weeks ago we went out frog giggin and these are the results... We got 43 frogs in about 2 hours in 3 of Barrys ponds, and we have 5 more ponds to hit. So with any luck we can hit them before it gets really friggin cold out. Crikey good times

Are You Safe?

Redneck Security, You Too Can Have the safety We Enjoy, here's How:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines don't forget the copy of 4 Wheel Drive too. Throw a few spent shotgun shells around too for added effect. Skinned Animal carcasses are an added feature that's not right for everyone but very effective.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Editors note don't forget the Knotty Pines Country Club Logo in the back window and a few spent shotgun shells on the floor boards of your car for added security. Logos are available thru the contact page on our official site.

My Heart Is Sad

The Knotty Pines Country Club lost a mentor today The Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Died this morning after being stung by a Ray off the cost of Australia. While Steve was more about conserving nature rather than blowing small parts of it up he shared our rambunctious adventurous spirit and had a great sense of humor. He will be missed. To read his obituary click the link below. A KPCC Salute will be planned shortly.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1531446,00.html?CNN=yes

So from the Knotty Pines Country Club to you Steve, wherever you are...

Crikey!

Dangerous Situation

Knotty Pines Country Club Survival Test...
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?








Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock 40 caliber hand gun, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything
to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my
wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club
and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I
carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to
society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so
deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all
so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try
to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....
(For those of you who are paying attention there was already a round chambered 10+1)
(sounds of reloading)...
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?" Son: "Can I shoot the next one!" Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"

If you can read this - Thank a teacher! If you are reading it in English - Thank a soldier!!