Are You Safe?

Redneck Security, You Too Can Have the safety We Enjoy, here's How:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines don't forget the copy of 4 Wheel Drive too. Throw a few spent shotgun shells around too for added effect. Skinned Animal carcasses are an added feature that's not right for everyone but very effective.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Editors note don't forget the Knotty Pines Country Club Logo in the back window and a few spent shotgun shells on the floor boards of your car for added security. Logos are available thru the contact page on our official site.

My Heart Is Sad

The Knotty Pines Country Club lost a mentor today The Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Died this morning after being stung by a Ray off the cost of Australia. While Steve was more about conserving nature rather than blowing small parts of it up he shared our rambunctious adventurous spirit and had a great sense of humor. He will be missed. To read his obituary click the link below. A KPCC Salute will be planned shortly.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1531446,00.html?CNN=yes

So from the Knotty Pines Country Club to you Steve, wherever you are...

Crikey!